Revised Introduction

In class we looked at examples of introductions and discussed how to make an introduction effective, that keeps the reader interested and wanting to read further.  Since my introduction needed some work and didn't contain all of the elements a strong introduction does, I revised it.  Click here to access Google Doc with both the old and the revised introductions.

geralt. "Road, Start, Beginning, Intention." 1/17/06 via Pixabay.
Public Domain Licence.

The main thing about the new introduction is that it uses imagery and a narrative feel to hook the reader.  I tried to create an image that was both compelling and stressed how far water must travel to reach residential areas, and how those water reserves are shrinking.  From there, I transitioned to my thesis statement, which didn't really change that much because I felt it was pretty good to begin with.  I'm still unsure about the narrative I tried to tell, so I'll probably revise it some more, but I can definitely tell it's better from the original.  The original was far too dry and had facts that were interesting to me, but probably not to anyone else.